Something every Hellsing fan wonders at least once is “Just WHAT is Alucard thinking?” With that in mind, we have here for you a glimpse (highly simplified) of the “unknowable, inhuman logic” that he is employing right now!

Alucard (thinking): empty glass in hand + empty bottle on table + other hand on table for balance + slurred speech + eyes like THAT = VERY BAD.